What have you learned from rock stars? (with Dana help)

John Lennon
Don’t have your driver let you out in front of your apartment.

Buddy Holly
Don’t tour the Midwest in January.

Elvis
Don’t build a detached “man-room” off your main house.

Brian Jones
Don’t swim, high.

Jeff Buckley
Don’t swim in a river at night with boots on.

Jimi Hendrix
Don’t sleep on your back.

Kurt Cobain
Don’t marry Courtney Love. (Also see Elvis entry)

Cliff Burton
Don’t draw straws with Kirk Hammett.

Jim Morrison
Don’t wash like an American, bathe like a Frenchman.

What would happen if it really did rain cats and dogs?

My answer would have to depend on how far the cats and dogs had fallen. In other words, what types of cloud produced these cats and dogs? If the clouds were big and puffy and low to the ground there would probably be less blood than if they’d fallen from high, you know…they could really catch some speed if they came from way up there.

Think of the industry that would come in to take care of the mess. A whole economy would be created! We need this now, right now! Houses would have damaged roofs but at least they’d sell again!

What types of dogs fell? Since most cat breeds are about the same size we can prepare for the cute but loud and screeching damage. Unless they’re kittens who are falling, but who wants to think of kittens falling from the sky, cats are easy to account for. There’s probably a formula to account for cat related rain damage, but I wouldn’t know about it. So no kittens, regular sized cats would fall, of course. Big predatory cats would be a different problem unless the dogs fell first; giving the big cats something to feast on.

Back to the dog question-if St. Bernard’s fell things would be different than if the sky rained Chihuahua’s. The mass of bones and hair hitting the ground from a nimbus cloud rain of St. Bernard’s would be devastating. If the St. Bernard rain came from a swirling hurricane it could mean the end of humanity as we know it.

I’ve never thought about how such a clichéd statement could foretell the end of it all.

You often hear people say, “You’ll never understand another person until you’ve walked a day in his or her shoes.” Choose a fictional character and walk a day in his or her shoes.

I often walk in fictional characters shoes. I’m cheap, really cheap, so I often buy shoes from thrift stores. Right before I try on the shoe just to make sure everything fits ok, I think about who donated the shoes or worse, who had to throw out the shoes whenever their loved one died.

Here’s my thought process as I walk around a thrift store.

That’s a nice shoe.

Wonder what size it is?

Ahh, my size!

I wonder if the person who wore these is dead.

Did they die in these shoes?

Are these dead man’s shoes?

If they’re a good price I buy them no matter what my answer to the last question is.

To me the deceased is kind of fictional, maybe more of an implied character and not a fictional character. Someone that existed but I’ll never see, hopefully never see! Could you imagine meeting a dead person that once wore your favorite shoes? I couldn’t imagine meeting that person because it would be too freighting.

Write the last line to an unwritten novel that’s so intriguing that others won’t help but want to read the book.

How about a few of these…

The squirrel was so dehydrated that he never went back to Tulsa.

And that’s where we get hot dogs from.

The chest cavity was so filled with twist-ties that no one was able to identify the murderer.