Millard Fillmore Children's Book

When you’re a kid you have a favorite president. I didn’t have a favorite president, so on a visit to the Smithsonian I made a bold statement. “Whoever has the prettiest presidential china I will consider my favorite president.” Millard Fillmore one, mostly because I thought it was tacky. Who cares about Millard Fillmore anyway? As I “matured” and found out more about our 13th president I realized that he was regarded as one of our worst presidents. This basic assumption was even echoed on one of my favorite television shows 30 Rock.
On a thrift store buying trip I ended up with a large selection of paper presidential bookmarks. Of course I flipped to Millard’s bookmark right away because I’ve continued the fake infatuation with Fillmore for so long. There he was…walrus like and all busty. Messing around with some of the dozens of children’s books I’ve repurposed I stuck his bust on the front of the book for no particular reason and then it hit me, “Why not make a Millard Fillmore children’s book?” So that’s what I’ve done because no one asked for it. Maybe I have a couple too many “fucks” for a children’s books, but I would have loved for someone to read this to me as a child. More children need more presidential cynicism anyway.